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I visited Joli’s journal this morning … again I froze; I stared at an empty comment box not knowing what to say. I know she knows my prays and love are with her at this time of uncertainty but … well I hope she knows …
I did take a little comfort from Image's comment, I know Joli has great resolve...
Here’s the thing...
I find myself remembering my own mother and what she went through … my eyes are welling up now.
I sometimes feel that I’m being punished, that there is something I should have done back then... and that now this punishment is being exacted through my friends, I watch there pain and scream ‘’why’’.
I can’t reach out to you … I can’t do a damn thing except watch... and inside I die a little more.
I really do wish I had some sort of power to make everything all right for all my friends in hardship … But why stop there... I guess because I’m selfish, that’s why!
It isn't selfishness. Our stories are connected, ALL of our stories. My stories of love, loss, pain and joy necessarily must be yours as well. The reverse is true. We see each other and ourselves in one another. That is the truth of what it is to be human. By remembering your pain, you can sympathize with mine, and even feel your own again, revisiting it through mine as you heal.
I take great comfort in the fact that we are connected. You remember that next time you're feeling selfish because you've felt an emotion after reading the words of another. I happen to think you're one hell of a guy and a good friend. Also, you DO reach out...and I do feel comforted.
My new flat doesn’t have a shower screen or curtain … can you guess where this is going already?
Well the floor was wetter than the tub!!! In fact it was hard to find a dry mark anywhere.
Anyway, I dried myself and I decided to powder up … keeping in mind what happened last time I was ultra careful with the powder. As this was a ‘before bed’ shower I decided to powder my nether regions and of course my feet, well the tops of them. The problem is, this dust of chalk that we call powder seems to get everywhere.
Being a guy with a sort of routine I cleared the floor of my dirties and walked across the lounge to the kitchen and loaded the washing machine (see I’m a good boy), then I went back, tidied the bathroom and went to the bedroom to pull on some snug track suit bottoms and a top. Feeling relaxed and clean I decided to get to the PC to have a little fun. That’s when I leaned back to stretch and idly glanced around the room.
The silhouettes of my feet outlined by powder were everywhere, going in all directions in all the rooms. By now I was up and like a tracker I was following them, what an idiot, what was I looking for, I was actually adding to the mess?!!! I would deal with all this tomorrow, so I headed back to my desk and saw the real party…. pitter patters covering the whole area under my desk. So here I sit writing about it!
I only put the stuff on my feet and that's to stop my feet from rotting!
I wont ask why you put it on your privates lol
Moving on ...
11:52 Feb 03 2009 Times Read: 896
I have the guys coming down tomorrow. I booked a local Indian restaurant as was agreed by us all. I have yet to visit this place as since I’ve moved I haven’t eaten out as yet. My last area had a plethora of Indian restaurants most of which we had been banned from for one thing or another. So, new area, new eateries to be booted from. To be fair, on the last place we visited we weren’t exactly kicked from but it did leave a terrible atmosphere that meant (sorry MacArthur) but we wouldn’t be returning. It started when my friend, on being served his meal called the waiter back to the table and stated that he didn’t order a vegetarian curry. The waiter then clarified that it was indeed the meat dish that he ordered … my friends words to this went something like, ‘’please point out the meat for me’’. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife (but not the meat).
promise if you come to ny and i take you out to eat you will behave lol
Winter's Back ..
19:45 Feb 01 2009 Times Read: 908
So I had an odd hour or so to kill tonight and found myself flicking through the film channels (as you do) and I stumbled on a golden oldie, The Bells of St. Mary, apt for our weather today. Did I tell you how it snowed today? well I couldn’t believe it and I told my daughter it was just the wind catching the blossom, it wasn’t until it was time for me to go and I was scraping an inch of snow from my wind-screen an hour later that I caught her laughing face waving bye-bye from the door, (how ridicules, blossom in winter).
Anyway, back to the film. I may be Jewish but I still know a good film when I see one … and yes I did shed a tear!! I love a feel good film, I still cry at ‘Goodbye Mr. Chips’.
Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman were simply brilliant in this black and white classic. I actually have this track on a Phil Spectre Xmas album (yes that one, no home should be without it).
I was going to dig out Bing’s version as it came from the film … but I changed my mind.
COMMENTS
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Sinora
12:10 Feb 27 2009
We leave our love, it's sad sometimes that seems to be thought of as somehow not enough, it is always enough *hugs*
BLOODLIFE
12:18 Feb 27 2009
I'm reading it back again and I can't believe I wrote about Joli and yet it seems to be about me again ...
Joli
17:19 Mar 01 2009
It isn't selfishness. Our stories are connected, ALL of our stories. My stories of love, loss, pain and joy necessarily must be yours as well. The reverse is true. We see each other and ourselves in one another. That is the truth of what it is to be human. By remembering your pain, you can sympathize with mine, and even feel your own again, revisiting it through mine as you heal.
I take great comfort in the fact that we are connected. You remember that next time you're feeling selfish because you've felt an emotion after reading the words of another. I happen to think you're one hell of a guy and a good friend. Also, you DO reach out...and I do feel comforted.
BLOODLIFE
20:57 Mar 01 2009
I really am glad that you feel this way ..
You and yours remain in my prayers.
vampfan2009
20:23 Apr 03 2009
ditto